Orchard Park Blows Smoke
Liberals tolerate any lifestyle choice, unless that choice is smoking. That little trail of fumes emanating from the lit end of a smooth, satisfying, delicious cigarette or rolled-up-phonebook-sized cigar frightens them far more than, say, radical Islam or unsustainable deficits.
As evidence, the fun police have banned tobacco consumers from indulging while frequenting wide open spaces. Specifically, The Buffalo News notes that smokers in Orchard Park’s parks have had jonesing imposed upon them:
About the only places smokers can light up are at home and outside, since the state’s indoor smoking ban took effect in 2003.
But now they can strike the outdoors — at least the parts owned by the Town of Orchard Park — from that list.
The town has become the first in Erie and Niagara counties to ban tobacco in its parks, beach and recreation areas.
Nicotine users should also kindly refrain from taking breaths even if they’re not partaking in their hobby, as their exhalations may still contain hyper-toxic residue that could spread emphysema while provoking asthma attacks. Hold your breath or go home, please: our respiratory systems thank you.
That’s unless the dangers of passive smoking have been exaggerated and won’t wreck others’ health. In that case, at least the pathetic little tyrant responsible for the freedom grab is honest about wanting to gobble up your rights:
We’re looking for more opportunities to restrict smoking,” said (Erie-Niagara Tobacco-Free Coalition) coordinator Anthony Billoni.
Billoni is undoubtedly frustrated that he can’t confiscate the french fries off your McDonald’s tray or pour out your alcohol. That said, he seems like the type who spends much of his day scheming about how to help you by restricting you.
As sadly expected, nobody pointed out the absurd lifestyle infringement in the paper’s account. In perfect Buffalo News style, reporter Barbara O’Brien couldn’t be troubled to gather and include criticism from a conservative or libertarian who finds the policy to be an unconscionable rights grab that takes away individual choice for dubious societal health benefits. Naturally, she was more than willing to let the anti-smoking mob shamelessly drag The Children into the argument:
Billoni said the coalition is seeking more areas that will be smoke-free to help make smoking less prevalent in the community. It’s also trying to help the parks stay clean from dropped cigarette butts, while creating a better space for children.
The space is now better for orphaned puppies, too. Plus, seeing tobacco being used hurts children’s eyes and scars their minds:
“We’d just like there to be one more place where they don’t see people smoking,” Billoni said, adding that the less often children see others smoke, the smaller chance they have of taking it up.
To clarify: adults should think twice about engaging in a legal activity they enjoy because someone else’s kid might see it. The passing moment would then somehow compel the brat to reflexively smoke at a later date. I didn’t realize today’s children are so impressionable, and I of course blame the public schools for churning out kids unable to make their own decisions and mentally resist. At least children have an excuse.
The government-funded educational system is undoubtedly also responsible for promoting the view that exhaling smokers are slowly yet steadily murdering us all:
The issue of secondhand smoke exposure remains, (Billoni) said, but is less of a problem outside.
You mean walking past a smoker may not wreck your lungs? They should’ve just claimed the science is settled, just as with anthropogenic global warming. Spewing such a boast might allow health fascists to get everything they want without science, individual rights, or democratic procedures getting in the way. As of now, they’re sadly not permitted to sentence tobacco users to summary execution, or any other punishment, for that matter:
While the signs will go up in Orchard Park, there are no penalties for smoking in the parks, beach and recreation areas.
The signs sound useful, as they’d be a perfect surface upon which to extinguish a cigarette or cigar. Yes, that’s a joke: it’s not to encourage vandalism, of course, especially among the same suggestible children who turn to smoking because they once saw a grown-up do it. But it’s symbolically what the rule deserves.
Regardless, the pipe-and-butt corps can’t be defeated, as they’re having exponentially more fun than the intolerantly healthy. They will be fine despite the irritating Orchard Park ban: smokers will continue to get to take pleasure in consumption even if they’re ultimately only permitted to do so in dwellings.
Contrast them with Rob Reiner disciples who want to ban sitting on a bench or walking past trees while puffing, and it’s no contest. Those with Cajun-style lungs are living far more worthwhile lives than joy-hating, officious twerps with charcoal souls.
Anthony Bialy is a freelance writer and “Red Eye” Conservative in Western New York. He also writes columns for Smart Girl Nation. Follow Anthony on Twitter.