Never send Brian Higgins to do the free market’s job.  Bass Pro will now never officially appear in Buffalo despite, or perhaps because of, his efforts.  Why weren’t they impressed by his congressional-level pleading? With that mystery looming, he’s employing his best strategy under the circumstances,...

Up yours, Schenectady.  You’re being taken to school, Cortland.  And say our name, Yonkers.  The Empire State Games finished Sunday, and I’m proud to report that the Western region either topped the medal count or at least finished in like the top 15. To be honest, I’m not certain, and I feel...

One of the pleasant things about the Sunday Buffalo News is perusing everything other than the news part.  Actually, that should read “the only pleasant thing.”  I’ve always maintained that the useless rag’s executives should offer to deliver the commercial notices, coupons, comics, and issue...

Everyone likes their nearby stuff.  For one, Western New Yorkers are renowned for growing defensively accustomed to what’s offered in their own neighborhoods.  The convenience of the closest Anderson’s, the familiar layout in the nearest Tops, and the overwhelming advantages of whatever pizzeria...

There’s bad news if you cope with the endless hassles of living in Buffalo via tobacco use: tobacco use may soon entail more hassles.  Lit leaf enthusiasts face additional headaches for indulging in the coolest of hobbies. Specifically, Brian Meyer of The Buffalo News notes that the municipality’s...

The bad people won’t technically hurt you.  They don’t even exist, really.  So, what explains violence?  Sadly, mean old guns persist on discharging on their own while they happen to be held and squeezed in a particular manner by humans. I’m trying to blame life’s problems on tools.  But...

The internet works perfectly fine without regulation.  Naturally, Chuck Schumer wants to ruin it.  To him, nothing works without him.  In turn, he’s out to hassle bloggers along with ad time buyers.  He can’t be endorsing his recent pet bill just to get on television, although sure he could. Chuck...

Would I make a good merry-go-round museum tour guide?  Or is that too general a field upon which to get a handle?  Either way, I’m preparing for a future where I will inevitably end up working for The Man just like everyone else.  Of course, we’ve learned over the past year and a half that said...

When government gets in the way of business, all businesses can do is deal with the government.  That’s why only suckers aren’t getting on the dole as your money rapidly becomes our money.  Take Buffalo company Honeywell, which has been granted a fortune to manufacture de facto golf cart batteries. ...

Do you watch horse racing, grandpa?  Betting which whipped animal can run a lap fastest is a rather inter-world-war-era diversion.  Nearly everyone living in 2010 would consider television, video games, the internet, and just about anything else with a plug or battery to be more entertaining than an...

You have to ask to be left out of the phone book.  In turn, the phone book people have to ask if they can stop printing it.  For reasons that would be baffling were we not in New York, it seems that Verizon must beg to the state if they want to phase out the rather predictable tome.  David Robinson...

Barack Obama is taking a trip to the future when he comes to Buffalo.  And he won’t even need a TARDIS or similarly nerdy device.  As a laboratory for governmental interference, Buffalo could show the president how progressive ideals don’t bring progress.  Matt pointed out why this area is a...

There wasn’t really a time when people were left to make a living and/or a living wage on their own, was there?  Such a reactionary approach to individual rights belongs in a quaint era when conglomerates were allowed to go bankrupt and people had to address their own health care needs.  Presumably,...

This year’s Hallwalls’ Artists & Models Affair might be fun or freaky.  It could be both, too, but it should be up to individuals to find out for themselves.  Admission to the undoubtedly provocative May 1 event is 15 bucks presale or a Jackson at the door.  Either way, taxpayers are also...

They’re rather subdued for alleged militants.  A large contingent of small-government aficionados assembled to greet the Tea Party Express in Buffalo on Monday as a means of opposing government’s expanding tendencies both nationally and locally.  They were also supposed to display how sexist/racist/homophobic...

There’s good news for anyone worried that sanctimonious disgrace Eliot Spitzer learned lessons and improved himself since he joined the Emperors Club: he hasn’t changed at all.  Yep, he’s still as contemptible as ever. I hate to even give attention to someone who most people hoped would enjoy...